Who do you spend most of your time with?

The reason I ask this question is because Dr. Mark Rowe has a theory that we become the five people we spend most of our time with. Do you agree?

Coincidently I stumbled across Mark Rowe’s work one evening on the way home in the car. He was being interviewed on a radio station set up for mental heal week. Mark Rowe is a practising family doctor with a difference.  He has come up with many theories and concepts but I found this one extremely fascinating. For me this theory couldn’t be more accurate! I only have to spend a couple of hours with somebody and I begin to take on their accent, their traits and little way of doing things. I think I’m easily influenced 😛

So for this reason alone, especially me, we need to choose our relationships VERY wisely. This means our friends, relationships, colleagues because if you think about it we do spend most of our week with the people we work alongside.  Look around you and begin to take note of who the closest five people are in your life. Are they positive people?  Do they encourage, support and make you feel good about yourself? Do they make you feel happy? If the answers are yes BRILLIANT you know nice people and haven chosen wisely.

However, if you are associating yourself with people that are consistently negative towards you, making you feel sad or angry and discouraging you it is time to reconsider those relationships even if it is somebody you are in a relationship with. You want somebody that will enhance you and bring out the best in you so you achieve your full potential in life. Dr.Mark Rowe says the ratio between positive and negative emotions needed is 3:1. Basically we need a lot more positivity to balance the negatives. So why do this to ourselves? Negative relationships can be toxic for us and we already battle thousands of negative thoughts per day in our own minds (You look fat, your ugly, you can’t do that, etc. etc.) regardless of taking on any external negative forces. So tip: Avoid negativity at all costs and chose your close circle with extreme caution because we all know we become like clones of our friends. We dress the same, talk the same, take on their mannerisms (well me anyway). Remember that these people are the biggest influences on your life and usually they mirror us.  Dr. Mark Rowe refers to this as the ‘mirror neuron’ from ancient cave man time when it was a survival technique.

Naturally as we grow older our friend circle decreases in size but the depth increases. I think is a way of consciously choosing the people that bring goodness into our lives and we escape having a high number of acquaintances.

Things To Think About:

  1. Who do you spend most time with?
  2. Do they make you happy? Yes-Keep, No- Reconsider relationship
  3. Be mindful as you too impact on people positively or negatively


If you are interested in reading more of Mark Rowe’s work click here.

Stacey @ The Mindful Guide x

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